Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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