The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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