Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
