i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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