is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
