life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize