yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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