For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
