isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
