Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
