Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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