and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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