That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
