Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
