Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
