And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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