i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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