Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
