Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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(303): View more from Colorado

idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Come fucking get her

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