i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sorry about my life...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
