Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
