Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
