I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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