dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
