I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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