Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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