i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
