its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
