what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
