Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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