and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
