I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
