so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
