are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
