I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
