the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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