i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
