Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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