Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
