i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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