and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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