I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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