I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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