I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
