Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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