its not stalking. its research.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
