doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize