I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
