If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
