we have pet lesbian snakes
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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