She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
