Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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