I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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