Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
