my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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