She said her name was "party"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
