After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
