I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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