let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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