i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
