Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
