I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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