He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
