So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
