Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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